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Hilary's Homecomingby Marion Zimmer BradleyAt Syrtis they turned off the Great North Road and took the road which curved away eastward into the foothills of the Kilghard Hills. Hilary Castamir had never believed she could be so weary of riding. At the very best of times she was not much more than an indifferent horsewoman, and this was hardly the best of times. She had been in the saddle for almost three days now; the road from Arilinn was long and rough to her horse's feet.She was eager to reach home and to see her mother and father, not to mention her brother and the little sisters, one of whom had been born since she left home for the Tower, where she had gone when she was only ten years old. She was now seventeen, though she looked younger - a slender sickly-looking girl, painfully thin. She might have been pretty had she looked a bit more healthy.But now everything, even the anticipated sight of her parents, had slipped away in her weariness. She dearly wished to be out of the saddle and to rest somewhere; but in this company, of course, it would be unseemly to show signs of weariness or fatigue. A Keeper, she reminded herself, must always be the perfect model of the decorum of the Arilinn Tower. Then, painfully, she reminded herself: but I am a Keeper no more. She had been sent away like a parcel of unwanted goods, disgraced-No, she told herself firmly; not in disgrace. Leonie had written to her parents last month and made it very clear.Hilary had dwelt in the Arilinn Tower for nearly seven years and Leonie, who had chosen her for keeper, had no fault to find with her. It was only that her health had failed and she had had to be dismissed, at last, to avoid a complete breakdown. For this reason Leonie had not arranged a marriage for her, as was usually done on the infrequent occasions when a maiden was dismissed from the Tower. Her parents might choose to do so when she had recovered her health.As they turned off the Great North Road on to the smaller branch road which led more deeply into the Kilghard Hills, a rider on a fine black horse, a green cadet cloak about his shoulders, broke loose from where he was posted at the crossroads and came riding toward them. As he came near, Hilary realized it was her older brother Despard.He must be quite nineteen now. She had not set eyes on him for many years. He looked very much as Hilary would have looked if she were older and in robust health; his cheeks were round and as red as the dwarf crab-apples on the trees in the fence-rows, glowing with cold and excitement.He bowed in his saddle and said with unexpected formality,?My lady-???Just Hilary, Des,? she said. ?You don't have to be formal with me any more; didn't Mother tell you? That's all over now; I'm home for good.?His eyes clouded.?They didn't tell me anything,? he said. ?What happened, sister? Or shouldn't I ask???You can ask me anything you like,? she said, ?and I?ll tell you everything. But Leonie wrote to tell Mother and Father; I thought for sure they would have told you.??No; as I said, they told me only that you were coming home. I thought at first it must be for a visit; but the way Mama looked, I didn't dare ask for details. What happened??Hilary smiled. Knowing her mother, she should have been prepared for this.?Nothing's really wrong,? she said. ?It's just that I was sick so often I disrupted the life of the Tower. So they felt I shouldn't stay there any longer.? She felt a strange disquiet; had Leonie's letter gone astray? But she put that thought away.?Have you been very long on the road?? Despard asked.She smiled wearily; it made her look older and desperately emaciated; she could read that in her brother's dismayed reaction.?You really don't look well, Hilary; we should hurry and get you home.??Thanks. I'd really be glad to be inside - and rest.??Well, let's be off, then,? Despard said, and spurred his horse to ride alongside the guards who escorted her. Hilary pulled herself upright, thinking, Just a little farther now.A wooden rail fence lined the road here, and after a little way she saw plots of kitchen gardens and a few fruit trees and berry bushes. Finally she saw the familiar tidy yard, at the end of which was the stairway to the imposing front door of paneled dark wood. At the top of the stairs stood a young girl Hilary did not know. She saw the Guards and Hilary and yelled, ?Mama, she's come!?A tall woman came from inside the door; for a moment, Hilary did not recognize her mother. Domna Yllana Castamir was tall and slender. In adolescence she must have looked very much the way Hilary did now; but unlike Hilary, she had never been pale and gaunt.Hilary reined in her horse thankfully. For the moment, all she could think of was the cessation of motion. She said, a little faintly, ?Mother-??Well, Hilary girl, how are you? You're thinner, but I can't say it's becoming to you. Well, I suppose you must be tired from riding. Come in; our guests are here, and you'll be expected at dinner.??Come, come, Mother, let the girl get her riding-cloak off before you start ordering her about,? interrupted the small, slight, withered man who appeared at her side. Hilary recognized her father, Dom Arnad Castamir. In her childhood he had seemed enormous, imposing and powerful; now she could see he was an old man, quite overshadowed by his more aggressive wife. He came down the stairs to Hilary, held out his arms, and helped her from the saddle, leaning forward to embrace her. He had the familiar smell she remembered from her childhood - horse, sweat, and the brew of medicinal herbs and cinnamon that he took for his cough. He hugged her hard and said, ?You're too thin, my girl; haven't they been feeding you in that Tower???Oh, yes, they were all very good to me,? Hilary said. ?But that's why I'm here, of course; my health was breaking down. Didn't Leonie write to you???Oh, yes, the Lady Leonie wrote,? her mother said. ?But so vaguely that we were worried.? She led Hilary into the hall and took off her gray cloak.?Make haste, my love; you will soon be expected at dinner in the hall; we invited our neighbors, so that they can see for themselves that you have nothing to hide.As you surely know, when a Keeper is dismissed so suddenly, there is certain to be gossip.??Of course I have nothing to hide,? said Hilary in exasperation. ?I thought Leonie had told you; I have almost lived in her pocket for seven years, and anyone who could commit the slightest indiscretion under Leonie's eyes-??Oh, but she would have to say that for her own protection,? said her mother. ?After all, you have been in her care for all these years, and you know as well as I that no Keeper is ever dismissed at such short notice if she has behaved herself properly. Is there nothing you want to tell me, Hilary??Now it dawned on Hilary just what her mother must be thinking. In shock and horror, she said, ?Mother! I heard it said once that there was nothing so evil as the mind of a virtuous woman! Can you dare to think I have misbehaved myself? It would take a stronger will than mine to - misbehave, or worse, under the Lady Leonie's eye. Nor have I ever been tempted to - to misbehave in that way.? She spoke firmly and with conviction; her mother looked skeptical.?Oh, come, daughter, you forget I was a girl myself.??Well, I can only think you must have been a different kind of girl!? Hilary snapped.Lady Yllana said angrily, ?How dare you speak to me that way??Hilary was instantly contrite, her voice thickening with unexpected tears. ?Oh, Mother, I did not mean to be rude, but truly, Leonie told no more than the truth. And-? she flared, suddenly angry, ?if you do not believe me, send for the midwife at Castamir and let her testify for herself.??Hmph! The lady's no more than human,? began Lady Yllana. But Dom Arnad interrupted, ?Come, now, Yllana, you mustn't speak that way about the Lady Leonie. Let the girl sit down and rest. She looks frightfully tired.??I am. Thank you, Papa,? Hilary murmured and sank down on one of the old blackened-oak settles in the hall.?Yes, rest a bit, my dear; you'll want to comb your hair and arrange it before dinner in the Hall,? said her mother. ?Oh, don't get that ridiculous look, child; you can't hide yourself away behind Tower walls as you've been doing for these last years. You're a part of this family now; and, like it or not, you might as well get used to the fact that you have duties to it. Oh, it's just the family of your brother's wife. You don't know Cassilda that well? Soon after we sent you to the Tower-? Hilary knew that in return for sending a daughter to the Tower, her brother's marriage to a lesser Hastur family's daughter had been arranged.?I know Cassilda Di Asturien, yes,? she said wearily. ?I met her on one of my visits here a few years ago; she was pregnant then. I did not hear if her child was a girl or a boy.? It must now, she thought, be three or nearer four years old.The expected diversion was successful. In thinking of her grandchild, her mother forgot her younger daughter.?The child is a boy,? she said fondly. ?I think I had written to you of that. He's about the same age as my own youngest; but I forgot. You have not yet seen your youngest sister.??You did write me about that,? Hilary said, grateful for the new turn the conversation had taken. ?Maellen, is it not? It is not a family name; I am not familiar with it.??Maellen,? her mother replied. ?There was a Hastur princess by that name, or so I am told; your father wished to name her Cassilda, but there is a Cassilda behind every tree in this Domain.??And Maellen is now what - five??... [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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Hilary's Homecomingby Marion Zimmer BradleyAt Syrtis they turned off the Great North Road and took the road which curved away eastward into the foothills of the Kilghard Hills. Hilary Castamir had never believed she could be so weary of riding. At the very best of times she was not much more than an indifferent horsewoman, and this was hardly the best of times. She had been in the saddle for almost three days now; the road from Arilinn was long and rough to her horse's feet.She was eager to reach home and to see her mother and father, not to mention her brother and the little sisters, one of whom had been born since she left home for the Tower, where she had gone when she was only ten years old. She was now seventeen, though she looked younger - a slender sickly-looking girl, painfully thin. She might have been pretty had she looked a bit more healthy.But now everything, even the anticipated sight of her parents, had slipped away in her weariness. She dearly wished to be out of the saddle and to rest somewhere; but in this company, of course, it would be unseemly to show signs of weariness or fatigue. A Keeper, she reminded herself, must always be the perfect model of the decorum of the Arilinn Tower. Then, painfully, she reminded herself: but I am a Keeper no more. She had been sent away like a parcel of unwanted goods, disgraced-No, she told herself firmly; not in disgrace. Leonie had written to her parents last month and made it very clear.Hilary had dwelt in the Arilinn Tower for nearly seven years and Leonie, who had chosen her for keeper, had no fault to find with her. It was only that her health had failed and she had had to be dismissed, at last, to avoid a complete breakdown. For this reason Leonie had not arranged a marriage for her, as was usually done on the infrequent occasions when a maiden was dismissed from the Tower. Her parents might choose to do so when she had recovered her health.As they turned off the Great North Road on to the smaller branch road which led more deeply into the Kilghard Hills, a rider on a fine black horse, a green cadet cloak about his shoulders, broke loose from where he was posted at the crossroads and came riding toward them. As he came near, Hilary realized it was her older brother Despard.He must be quite nineteen now. She had not set eyes on him for many years. He looked very much as Hilary would have looked if she were older and in robust health; his cheeks were round and as red as the dwarf crab-apples on the trees in the fence-rows, glowing with cold and excitement.He bowed in his saddle and said with unexpected formality,?My lady-???Just Hilary, Des,? she said. ?You don't have to be formal with me any more; didn't Mother tell you? That's all over now; I'm home for good.?His eyes clouded.?They didn't tell me anything,? he said. ?What happened, sister? Or shouldn't I ask???You can ask me anything you like,? she said, ?and I?ll tell you everything. But Leonie wrote to tell Mother and Father; I thought for sure they would have told you.??No; as I said, they told me only that you were coming home. I thought at first it must be for a visit; but the way Mama looked, I didn't dare ask for details. What happened??Hilary smiled. Knowing her mother, she should have been prepared for this.?Nothing's really wrong,? she said. ?It's just that I was sick so often I disrupted the life of the Tower. So they felt I shouldn't stay there any longer.? She felt a strange disquiet; had Leonie's letter gone astray? But she put that thought away.?Have you been very long on the road?? Despard asked.She smiled wearily; it made her look older and desperately emaciated; she could read that in her brother's dismayed reaction.?You really don't look well, Hilary; we should hurry and get you home.??Thanks. I'd really be glad to be inside - and rest.??Well, let's be off, then,? Despard said, and spurred his horse to ride alongside the guards who escorted her. Hilary pulled herself upright, thinking, Just a little farther now.A wooden rail fence lined the road here, and after a little way she saw plots of kitchen gardens and a few fruit trees and berry bushes. Finally she saw the familiar tidy yard, at the end of which was the stairway to the imposing front door of paneled dark wood. At the top of the stairs stood a young girl Hilary did not know. She saw the Guards and Hilary and yelled, ?Mama, she's come!?A tall woman came from inside the door; for a moment, Hilary did not recognize her mother. Domna Yllana Castamir was tall and slender. In adolescence she must have looked very much the way Hilary did now; but unlike Hilary, she had never been pale and gaunt.Hilary reined in her horse thankfully. For the moment, all she could think of was the cessation of motion. She said, a little faintly, ?Mother-??Well, Hilary girl, how are you? You're thinner, but I can't say it's becoming to you. Well, I suppose you must be tired from riding. Come in; our guests are here, and you'll be expected at dinner.??Come, come, Mother, let the girl get her riding-cloak off before you start ordering her about,? interrupted the small, slight, withered man who appeared at her side. Hilary recognized her father, Dom Arnad Castamir. In her childhood he had seemed enormous, imposing and powerful; now she could see he was an old man, quite overshadowed by his more aggressive wife. He came down the stairs to Hilary, held out his arms, and helped her from the saddle, leaning forward to embrace her. He had the familiar smell she remembered from her childhood - horse, sweat, and the brew of medicinal herbs and cinnamon that he took for his cough. He hugged her hard and said, ?You're too thin, my girl; haven't they been feeding you in that Tower???Oh, yes, they were all very good to me,? Hilary said. ?But that's why I'm here, of course; my health was breaking down. Didn't Leonie write to you???Oh, yes, the Lady Leonie wrote,? her mother said. ?But so vaguely that we were worried.? She led Hilary into the hall and took off her gray cloak.?Make haste, my love; you will soon be expected at dinner in the hall; we invited our neighbors, so that they can see for themselves that you have nothing to hide.As you surely know, when a Keeper is dismissed so suddenly, there is certain to be gossip.??Of course I have nothing to hide,? said Hilary in exasperation. ?I thought Leonie had told you; I have almost lived in her pocket for seven years, and anyone who could commit the slightest indiscretion under Leonie's eyes-??Oh, but she would have to say that for her own protection,? said her mother. ?After all, you have been in her care for all these years, and you know as well as I that no Keeper is ever dismissed at such short notice if she has behaved herself properly. Is there nothing you want to tell me, Hilary??Now it dawned on Hilary just what her mother must be thinking. In shock and horror, she said, ?Mother! I heard it said once that there was nothing so evil as the mind of a virtuous woman! Can you dare to think I have misbehaved myself? It would take a stronger will than mine to - misbehave, or worse, under the Lady Leonie's eye. Nor have I ever been tempted to - to misbehave in that way.? She spoke firmly and with conviction; her mother looked skeptical.?Oh, come, daughter, you forget I was a girl myself.??Well, I can only think you must have been a different kind of girl!? Hilary snapped.Lady Yllana said angrily, ?How dare you speak to me that way??Hilary was instantly contrite, her voice thickening with unexpected tears. ?Oh, Mother, I did not mean to be rude, but truly, Leonie told no more than the truth. And-? she flared, suddenly angry, ?if you do not believe me, send for the midwife at Castamir and let her testify for herself.??Hmph! The lady's no more than human,? began Lady Yllana. But Dom Arnad interrupted, ?Come, now, Yllana, you mustn't speak that way about the Lady Leonie. Let the girl sit down and rest. She looks frightfully tired.??I am. Thank you, Papa,? Hilary murmured and sank down on one of the old blackened-oak settles in the hall.?Yes, rest a bit, my dear; you'll want to comb your hair and arrange it before dinner in the Hall,? said her mother. ?Oh, don't get that ridiculous look, child; you can't hide yourself away behind Tower walls as you've been doing for these last years. You're a part of this family now; and, like it or not, you might as well get used to the fact that you have duties to it. Oh, it's just the family of your brother's wife. You don't know Cassilda that well? Soon after we sent you to the Tower-? Hilary knew that in return for sending a daughter to the Tower, her brother's marriage to a lesser Hastur family's daughter had been arranged.?I know Cassilda Di Asturien, yes,? she said wearily. ?I met her on one of my visits here a few years ago; she was pregnant then. I did not hear if her child was a girl or a boy.? It must now, she thought, be three or nearer four years old.The expected diversion was successful. In thinking of her grandchild, her mother forgot her younger daughter.?The child is a boy,? she said fondly. ?I think I had written to you of that. He's about the same age as my own youngest; but I forgot. You have not yet seen your youngest sister.??You did write me about that,? Hilary said, grateful for the new turn the conversation had taken. ?Maellen, is it not? It is not a family name; I am not familiar with it.??Maellen,? her mother replied. ?There was a Hastur princess by that name, or so I am told; your father wished to name her Cassilda, but there is a Cassilda behind every tree in this Domain.??And Maellen is now what - five??... [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]